Parenting To Your Values - the guided writing exercise

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Following up on gravestone parenting, here's a brief writing exercise to explore your own good-enough parenting, the places you'd like to try something new to create the relationship you want with your child (see below for the audio link).

What kind of parent would you like to be: an ok parent, good parent, extraordinary parent?

But seriously, if you could choose which category of parent you were going to be as smoothly, simply, spaciously as picking a meal from a menu, which would you pick?

What would being an extraordinary parent look like for you?

  • What would you do?
  • How would you interact with your child?
  • What are you not doing now?

What are the things that you are doing that you wouldn't if you got to CHOOSE to be an extraordinary parent?

List 2 or 3 things that would change in your behavior.


Now write down a few things that are internal barriers...

What stands in the way of choosing to make these changes? What are the ways buying into this barrier has cost you and your child in the past?

Take a moment to look at what you're written, imagine what it would be like if you chose to be an extraordinary parent.

What would being an extraordinary parent mean for the change in your relationship?

what are the changes you would need to make?

If you had the opportunity to commit to one action that would support these changes...would you accept this opportunity?

Would you be willing to notice the barriers without giving them control of what you actually do in your life?

If you are willing, take this moment to write down some things you would like to change,

  • some behaviors you'd like to stop
  • and behaviors you would like to start,

with your own goal of being the parent you would like to be.

By Kerry Makin-Byrd, PhD