Shaping our reality by shaping our language


I’ve written before about both the religious and psychological reflections that our language, thoughts, and attention can shape the way we perceive and feel about our reality. I will sometimes describe this as the story we are being loyal to.

For a long time, I was loyal to a (created) story that I was always just barely good enough to make the next hurtle. And I could give you lots of evidence to back up this perspective (I even considered inserting a notated CV here, to give you an illustration of how I or you can gather a whole list of facts to back up any one of a handful of limiting, narrow, created stories).

But as I grew, changed, and benefited from the great wisdom of therapists, mentors, and religious leaders, what I learned was that this story was like a too tight suit, like a rock in my shoe. I crafted myself and my reality to fulfill this stale perspective in ways that no longer served me, that limited me long after I had a more awakened understanding of how much richer and complex my life was than that simple phrase, narrative, conclusion.

So with the intention of bringing purposeful awareness to the ways we select our language and thus create our interpretations of the world, I humbly offer an exercise to choose our language carefully, to shape our seeing and knowing of this glorious rich messy expansive of our life, to choose which wolf we'll feed.

“This week before speaking, ask yourself is what I’m about to say true? is it kind? Is it necessary?”

A hard big inspiring assignment. A good friend and I did the assignment together and both found it ridiculously challenging and inspiring, a shining light on a more intentional way to speak kindly and thoughtfully.

I wish you well fellow traveler.

Love, Kerry